Understanding what divides us.

To be honest, me & and most people I interact with belong to the oppressor castes, the biggest oppression I face is brahminical capitalism although I have fallen in for quite a bit of consumerism, I tolerate this oppression by shaming brahminism but still yearn for that holiday in far away places, or buying the latest apple products. I feel guilt free by donating two cents of my salary to social causes, some weekend or two towards social work most of and most of my free time bashing the ‘brahminical capitalist’ status quo. Honestly me and my working class parents are the displaced lots although hailing from oppressor castes. We own no farmland because my dad’s dad lost it all to kickstart his political career which never took off. My dad during his early teens worked in grocery stores, hawked to sell salt till his sister got married to a person of another oppressor caste who then sponsored his diploma, made him an eligible bachelor, found him an educated bride, my mom working for a government-aided hospital i.e. a secured job although her salaries were delayed for upto 6months in a row on couple of occasions. However big the odds my displaced oppressor caste parents had, they were able to revive their fortunes to have their own house, afford me private school education, extra coaching, swimming lessons, send me on treks to Himalayas, buy me a cycle, send me to UK for my post-grads and let me not burden with other expenses which then I would use it for my himalayan escapades and buying apple products. 

If I wasn’t born an effeminate homosexual I would have not really grown to understand what separates me from all others given I was always surrounded by mostly displaced people of oppressor castes. I have lived most my life in a distant suburb of Bombay/ Mumbai cushioned largely from harsher realities of rich and poor divide. My working class parents could never afford a maid. Both my parents would wake up early, fix food, clean the house, make sure I step outside for my school/ tuition/ graduation school/ then my job as well. They would always fear me lapsing into my insecurities and shunning the outside challenges. They worked non-stop at work and then at the house, only and only for my growth. They are hinduised but the degree of their hinduisation stepped up with the increased pitch for a hindu-rashtra in mainstream news and media. My hinduisation also peaked that I started justifying 1984 anti-sikh pogrom, ignored Babri-demolition, the following  hindu-muslim riots as well as the oppression of non-hindu tribals, northeasterners and kashmiris, to an extent that I solely settled that two brahminical parties BJP and Congress are the only two valid alternatives and the more brahminical/hindu Communists are someone can also deliver stable administration to Indians if given an opportunity. 

The revolution led by Kanshiram, spearheaded by Mayawati was brought to my notice only by outsiders. My own employer, the most successful architect from India too had jokingly said that he favors the Mayawatiji’s administration. The news of her success trickled very reluctantly and her loss at election was celebrated largely in the media because they could not fathom a poor oppressed caste chief-minister asserting her oppressed identity unabashedly and build memorials in stone establishing her credentials proudly. Her assertions and stellar administration had to be curtailed by the guardians of the brahminical status-quo. I was under the impression that effeminate gay men can develop a zeal to fight against injustice but I had the misfortune of coming across some celebrated, pioneering queer activists riding on huge social capital being tolerant of caste supremacy, Islamophobia, neo-liberalism, patriarchy all put in one! I was thoroughly demystified. The education and economy was failing my generation and so were the celebrated icons of justice, liberty and equality. I sought refuge in atheism but the space was soon hijacked by proud oppressor castes bringing in repetitious  rhetoric against the oppressed identities. Fortunately this void of sanity and reason was filled by the writings of oppressed classes through www.roundtableindia.co.in . Everything started to fall in place. However rewarding were the point of views, solutions, facts and data on the oppression taking place in the society expressed by this 'anti-social evils' website, i failed to convince displaced oppressor caste men and women in my social circles that caste as a social evil was solely helping us tolerate our maladies and robbing us from simple joys of life, that it is not only making us give up on our aspirations but also jeopardizing the development of the oppressed majority. We are inadvertently going to raise an oppressed generation based on colour, class, race, religion and this apathetic tolerance would severely harm the already oppressed more. However, many of my oppressor caste friends reluctantly listen through me but I do not see them countering the oppressive forces or narrative . I see they cant afford to counter these oppressive forces and are seeking refuge in apologia as well as buying into a non-lived, distant utopian reality/ narrative which helps them make peace with the status quo. They get married if straight, seek the right to marry if queer to further gender stereotyping and seek emotional and materialistic security. I see them seeking rights but having no intent to humanize extremely oppressed for their lived experiences of utmost hardships. 

I feel guilty of using the word ‘I’ because im using it to gather social capital although i have very little skills to seek it or provide it for others seeking it no matter how noble are their causes. Thanks to the asserting oppressed identities I can understand my privileges and limitations. I can now fathom the fact of knowing how powerless can one feel when your voice however sane it sounds to you, fails to convince others, fails to provoke the conscience of others, fails to bring you little joys, fails to let you live a better life, fails to inspire you. The pain is real when you see status quo is reigning without a credible challenge and the only way to go ahead is challenging the status-quo with minuscule social capital or simply go numb. To fight against oppression is the only way an oppressed can seek a reason, energy, motivation to survive however this zeal must make him/ her find innovative skills to remain relevant and most importantly build bridges as well as understanding the most difficult task of standing aside in solidarity with a person with much social capital.